Family Life

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for my wonderful family. I want to be a blessing to each loved one. I want to be an inspiring influence, a godly example, expecially to those younger than myself. Give me a tender, forgiving heart. Let me speak only kind, loving words. May my home be a place where the holy angels love to dwell, for the sweetness of the atmosphere. I need Your continual presence in my heart to subdue self, so I can glorify you, especially in my home life. Thank You for Your marvelous love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

I choose to establish a family alter, with daily prayer and Bible study.

In every family there should be a fixed time for morning and evening worship. How appropriate it is for parents to gather their children about them before the fast is broken, to thank the heavenly Father for His protection during the night, and to ask Him for His help and guidance and watch care during the day! How fitting, also, when evening comes, for parents and children to gather once more before Him and thank Him for the blessings of the day that is past! {CG 520.1}

I choose to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

To bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is the greatest missionary work that parents can perform. The mother is entrusted with a greater work than is the king upon his throne. She has a class of duty to perform in connection with her children that no other one can perform. If she daily learns in the school of Christ, she will discharge her duty in the fear of God, and care for the children as the Lord's beautiful flock. {2MR 278.3}

Parents, you need to study your Bibles in order to know how to bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You cannot continue to indulge in your fitful manner of managing your children, and yet be accounted as true and faithful before God. You must watch for the souls of your children as those that must give an account. You should consider it your duty before God to educate your children in some useful employment. They cannot be permitted to spend their lives in amusing themselves simply, without being exposed to temptation. You should train your children to orderly habits, teaching them to bear responsibilities according to their years. You should train them also in habits of economy, instructing them to bind about their wants and restrict their desires for indulgence in dress and holiday pleasures. {ST, May 7, 1894 par. 7}

The apostle exhorts parents to exercise their authority in wisdom. He says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" [verse 4]. Great care should be exercised lest children shall be treated in a way to provoke obstinacy and rebellion. Many parents, because of their own want of self-control, arouse the worst passions of their children's hearts. They correct them in anger, and confirm them in their evil, instead of drawing them from the snare of Satan by correction administered in gentleness and love. {13MR 83.3}

I choose to discipline my children in love, shunning the extremes of indulgence and harshness.

Excessive indulgence and undue severity are alike to be avoided. While vigilance and firmness are indispensable, so also are sympathy and tenderness. {CG 263.3}

In too many families today there is too much self-indulgence and disobedience passed by without being corrected, or else there is manifested an overbearing, masterful spirit that creates the worst evils in the dispositions of children. {CG 236.3}

Many parents actually teach their children to disobey them, by excusing their disobedience, and glossing over their willful faults. That only child, the son or daughter whose life has been a series of indulgence, petting, and praise, has grown only to obey his own will. {HR, November 1, 1878 par. 11}

I chose to never give in to an angry child, letting them get their way because of a tantrum.

"Give them nothing for which they cry, even if your tender heart desires ever so much to do this; for if they gain the victory once by crying they will expect to do it again. The second time the battle will be more vehement." Child Guidance, page 92.

I choose to always insist on obedience whenever a command is given.

Day by day parents are to watch vigilantly and correct wisely, insisting upon prompt obedience. {ST, September 25, 1901 par. 10}

Parents, you may find your children impatient of restraint, at first. They may rebel, but you should insist upon obedience. Children trained to obey their parents will be in a condition to love God, and to yield to the claims of his law. {ST, July 13, 1888 par. 11}

I choose to shun spanking a child in anger, or raising my voice in harshness.

You should correct your children in love. Do not let them have their own way until you get angry, and then punish them. Such correction only helps on the evil, instead of remedying it. {CG 245.3}

When you are obliged to correct a child, do not raise the voice to a high key. . . . Do not lose your self-control. The parent who, when correcting a child, gives way to anger is more at fault than the child. {CG 246.1}

Harsh, angry words are not of heavenly origin. Scolding and fretting never help. Instead, they stir up the worst feelings of the human heart. When your children do wrong and are filled with rebellion, and you are tempted to speak and act harshly, wait before you correct them. Give them an opportunity to think, and allow your temper to cool. {CG 246.2}

I choose to model the character of Christ to my child, winning their love and affection.

Have you love for your child? Do you cultivate affection for the little ones you have brought into the world, and express that love in your words and manners? If your child is playing with something that is not a proper article for him to use as a toy, do not snatch it from him; but get him to exchange it for something that will be proper for him, and that will give him as much pleasure. Let your children have evidence that you love them, and that you want to make them happy. The more unlovely they are, the greater pains you must take to win their confidence and love; and when they realize that father and mother will use every justifiable means to make them happy, the barriers will be broken down. What a victory is gained when it is possible to mould the character of your children after the character of Christ! It should be the constant aim of parents to develop the capacities of their children in such a way that they will be fitted to honor God and bless humanity. {ST, April 30, 1894 par. 7}

I choose to disipline my own self before I discipline my child.

But before parents can teach their children obedience, they must learn the lesson themselves by obedience to God. How can they discipline their children aright till they learn the meaning and the value of self-discipline? How can they lead their children up the difficult heights of self-control, self-denial, patience, and truthfulness, unless they first climb these heights themselves? {RH, July 8, 1902 par. 5}

As united rulers of the home kingdom, let father and mother show kindness and courtesy to each other. Never should their deportment militate against the precepts they seek to inculcate. They must maintain purity of heart and life if they would have their children pure. They must train and discipline self if they would have children subject to discipline. They must set before their children an example worthy of imitation. Should they be remiss in this respect, what will they answer if the children entrusted to them stand before the bar of heaven as witnesses to their neglect? How terrible will be their realization of loss and failure as they face the Judge of all the earth! {CT 128.3}

Those who desire to control others must first control themselves. . . . When a parent or teacher becomes impatient and is in danger of speaking unwisely, let him remain silent. There is wonderful power in silence. {CG 247.2}

I choose to keep my home purged of all worldly influences.

From their infancy the youth need to have a firm barrier built up between them and the world, that its corrupting influence may not affect them. {AH 19.3}

Every Christian family should illustrate to the world the power and excellence of Christian influence. . . . Parents should realize their accountability to keep their homes free from every taint of moral evil. {AH 19.4}

Holiness to God is to pervade the home. . . . Parents and children are to educate themselves to co-operate with God. They are to bring their habits and practices into harmony with God's plans. {AH 19.5}

I choose to do what I can to keep the atmosphere of my home sweet and pleasant.

Parents should keep the atmosphere of the home pure and fragrant with kind words, with tender sympathy and love; but at the same time, they are to be firm and unyielding in principle. If you are firm with your children, they may think that you do not love them. This you may expect; but never manifest harshness. Justice and mercy must clasp hands; there must be no wavering or impulsive movements. {RH, March 30, 1897 par. 11}

If we have Christ abiding with us, we shall be Christians at home as well as abroad. He who is a Christian will have kind words for his relatives and associates. He will be kind, courteous, loving, sympathetic, and will be educating himself for an abode with the family above. If he is a member of the royal family, he will represent the kingdom to which he is going. He will speak with gentleness to his children, for he will realize that they, too, are heirs of God, members of the heavenly court. Among the children of God no spirit of harshness dwells; for "the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." {RH, September 20, 1892 par. 8}

I choose to do my part to keep myself and my home orderly, clean and tasteful.

Believers should be taught that even though they may be poor, they need not be uncleanly or untidy in their persons or in their homes. Help must be given in this line to those who seem to have no sense of the meaning and importance of cleanliness. They are to be taught that those who are to represent the high and holy God must keep their souls pure and clean, and that this purity must extend to their dress, and to everything in the home, so that the ministering angels will have evidence that the truth has wrought a change in the life, purifying the soul and refining the tastes. Those who, after receiving the truth, make no change in word or deportment, in dress or surroundings, are living to themselves, not to Christ. They have not been created anew in Christ Jesus, unto purification and holiness. {RH, June 10, 1902 par. 4}

In these last days, especially, should all seek to elevate their lives, for they are fitting for translation and must be without spot or wrinkle or any such thing--perfect before God, pure in heart and life, holy--and then will their light shine. You need not imitate the fashions of the world in order to have influence, but in order to have influence you must all take an exalted position that your influence may tell. You who are looking for Christ's coming should be the most orderly, systematic, cleanly people upon the earth; but it has not been thus. Some have acted as though it was no matter what they wore, how their houses or persons appeared, and that these slovenly manners were tokens of humility. Instead of this it is a true sign hung out to unbelievers of what is within; you are judged accordingly. God help you to arise.--Letter 23, 1868, pp. 2,3. (To "Dear Friends in Burlington," April 27, 1868.) {9MR 280.2}

I pledge to pray for all in my household on a daily basis.

The Lord says to all, Purify your souls from all commonness. Set before your children and households an example in word and deportment that will lead them to desire above all things to render to God consecrated loving service. Pray for your home; instruct your family; sanctify the Lord God of Israel in your hearts and in your lives. {SpTB15 4.1}

We should pray to God much more than we do. There is great strength and blessing in praying together in our families, with and for our children.-(Child Guidance, 525.) {Pr 249.3}

I choose to keep my home free from the idolatry of materialism or extravagence.

Those who invest the Lord's goods in expensive buildings, in extravagant adornment, in furniture, in dress, in needless ornaments of show or display, are embezzling our Lord's goods that are only lent us for a time to prove what is in our hearts, to see if we will individually appreciate the responsibilities entrusted to our hands to advance the interests of the firm of which the Lord has honored us by taking us in connection with Himself as partners. And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own? {16MR 257.1}

I choose to open my home in hospitality to those who need help.

No child of God, however poor or oppressed, is neglected or passed by; for heavenly angels minister to those who shall be heirs of salvation. As you open your doors to the children of God, whether high or low, rich or poor, and extend to them your hospitality, you invite these unseen visitors with them. Could your eyes be opened, you would see that you were not only entertaining the guests who needed the comforts and attentions you could bestow, but that guests from heaven were also partakers of your hospitality, you were entertaining angels unawares. You are not controlled by the Spirit of Christ when you select a few associates congenial to your own mind, and lavish favors upon them, while you neglect those who most need the help you can give them. {ST, August 3, 1891 par. 3, 4}

"A lover of hospitality" is among the specifications given by the Holy Spirit as marking one who is to bear responsibility in the church. And to the whole church is given the injunction: "Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." {AH 445.4}

These admonitions have been strangely neglected. Even among those who profess to be Christians true hospitality is little exercised. Among our own people the opportunity of showing hospitality is not regarded as it should be, as a privilege and blessing. There is altogether too little sociability, too little of a disposition to make room for two or three more at the family board without embarrassment or parade. {AH 445.5}

I desire all who enter my home to feel the presence of holy angels abiding there.

Any negligence of acts of politeness and tender regard on the part of brother for brother, any neglect of kind, encouraging words in the family circle, parents with children and children with parents, confirms habits which make the character unChristlike. But if these little things are performed, they become great things. They increase to large proportions. They breathe a sweet perfume in the life which ascends to God as holy incense. An angel presence is in the home. Love is manifested in kindness, gentleness, forbearance, and longsuffering. {1SAT 298.2}

The home that is beautified by love, sympathy, and tenderness is a place that angels love to visit, and where God is glorified. The influence of a carefully guarded Christian home in the years of childhood and youth is the surest safeguard against the corruptions of the world. In the atmosphere of such a home the children will learn to love both their earthly parents and their heavenly Father. {AH 19.2}

 

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